Self-care as an Act of Radical Kindness

Self-care is important for everyone. But for LGBTQIA2S+ folks, it's radical. By virtue of caring for ourselves as queer individuals, we are valuing a life that is beyond the binary of a cisgender, heterosexual world. It is an act of resistance to say I deserve self-love and kindness in a world that continues to question the humanity of the LGBT+ community—in particular, transgender folks of all ages (but especially trans youth).

In the wake of the U.S. v. Skrmetti Supreme Court case decision—in which, along political lines, the Court upheld the trans youth healthcare ban in the state of Tennessee—a lot of trans folks are, understandably, upset. (My enby self included.) The precedence this sets is dangerous for everyone, not just our trans and gender diverse youth. Seeing rights denied to such a maligned, marginalized group feels disempowering; it feeds despair. Know this: the only constant in this world is change, and there are countless organizations and individuals fighting to protect trans youth and their right to access life-saving, evidence-based gender affirming care. It is okay to let yourself be despondent for a time. Grief is very real, and it is best to try and process it with a gentle hand.

Rainbow Dracuteers wants to remind you all that caring for yourself is paramount. The modern 24/7 news cycle is not built for our human brains; it is built for generating company profit. Our social media is not built for facilitating community; it is built for generating company profit. Algorithms do not have our best interests in mind—and we shouldn't sacrifice our minds for them.

We’re here for you. Get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S. via text, chat, or phone. Our trained counselors understand the challenges LGBTQ+ young people face. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

Get help now

✨Self-care Tips, Ideas, & Resources ✨

There are a myriad of ways to practice self-care. It takes effort to remember to give ourselves love & grace. The world spins fast and hectic; we need to slow down and take time for our bodies, minds, & souls. Here are some suggestions:

Mental Wellness 🧠

• Breathing & Grounding Exercises. Anxiety isn't just "in our heads"—it's a full, physiological reaction that can wreak havoc on our nervous system. Remembering to ground, center, and breathe is imperative to keeping calm and tempering panic. Try focusing on your five senses and engage them around you: name something you see, smell, taste, sense, and hear to ground yourself in the present moment.
  
  

• Disconnect from the Digital. Doomscrolling is a notorious killer of mental well-being. Human brains weren't evolved to confront an onslaught of 24/7 global news, rage-bait, and invasive advertising. Take a moment to get away from the internet. Try to give yourself some screen-free time to decompress. If necessary, try keeping app shortcuts off your smartphone's home screen or delete them entirely.
  
  
• Color Affirming Coloring Books. Coloring is a fun, relaxing activity that all ages can enjoy! Even better, there are all sorts of delightful, queer & gender-affirming coloring pages by wonderful LGBT+ artists and allies available online. We recommend Theo Nicole Lorenz's Trans Affirmation Coloring Book which is available for a pay-what-you-want price (including free!) on Gumroad. (Though we recommend at least leaving a tip; Rainbow Dracuteers is a staunch supporter of artists! Even so, it's commendable the artist wanted their work available to all, and it's perfectly fine if you need to avail yourself of freely offered resources.)
  
  
• Seek Laughter. Laughing itself helps improve our mood. Sometimes, on particularly tough days, I seek out comedy to help me laugh and feel a bit of joy again. Rewatch a favorite comedy show, read a silly comic, chat with your funniest friend—seek out laughter even in dark times. Personally, I recommend checking out anything by Dropout.tv (who regularly upload clips and select episodes of programs for free on Youtube).
  
  
• Journaling & Freewriting. Creative writing is a way to spill our thoughts outward onto paper. It can be deeply therapeutic, even if you're not writing a diary-style entry. Freewriting itself is the act of writing in a stream-of-consciousness manner without the judgement of the inner editor. Take pen to paper (or keys to board if you're a digital dude/dame/duddy).
  
  
• Trans Lifeline / LGBT Hotline. For peer-support, phone, or chat services, gender diverse folks young & old are welcome to call Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860; text THRIVE to 313-662-8209 to chat with someone via SMS text; or visit the LGBT National Help Center online chat to communicate with someone over the web. These resources are available for support before or beyond crisis. If you're feeling down, need a little help, or just want someone to talk to about LGBT+ stuff, these contacts welcome you.
  
  
• Seek Therapy/Counseling. This is a difficult but worthwhile endeavor if you can afford it. The American healthcare system is fundamentally broken, so all we can do is our best. As someone who has dealt with mental illness nearly all their life, I can say I have benefited tremendously from the times when I was able to get proper psychotherapeutic treatment through prior insurance plans. Online services like Zocdoc can help you find in-network, regionally available therapists, counselors, or other medical professionals.
  
  
• Remember your Medications. For my fellow mentally ill, neurospicy, and/or disabled folks, an evergreen reminder to take your medications regularly and on time. (This reminder is equally helpful to my forgetful self.) Even if you don't have any prescriptions, remember to take any vitamins or supplements that help you day-to-day. 😄

Pamper Yourself 💅

• Get a Haircut. A fresh haircut can be deeply transformative, or just a nice treat. Whether you go to a salon, a barber, or try to DIY a new hairdo (proceed with caution on that last one), redefining your hair can be a powerful moment of self-care, self-expression, and self-love. One welcoming, queer-friendly local place we recommend is Professional Barbers of Lowell on University Ave!
  
  
• Give Yourself a Facial Mask. Give yourself a little spa treatment sometimes! Whether you make your own products or grab one of those nifty Korean-style face masks from the store, the point is to give love to your lovely face & care for your skin.
  
  
• Paint your Nails. A little manicure or pedicure can help you feel special! For those who may be in the closet or stealth, a great tip is to paint your toenails. Unless you're an all-day, all-year flip-flopper, often only you see your toes. It can be a treat just for you, and a positive affirmation for yourself throughout the day.
  
  
• Take a Nap. Naps are great. Keep it to 20- or 90-minutes for maximum restfulness and minimal grogginess.
  
  
• Engage with your Favorite Stories. Something that never fails to bring you joy and comfort! For me, that's Kiki's Delivery Service for movies, Dimension 20 for TV shows, and anything by N.K. Jemisin for books.
  
  
• Eat your Favorite Snack, or Make your Favorite Meal. Humans gotta eat, and it's nice to give yourself something especially delicious from time to time. Whether you go out to eat, order takeout, grab a special grocery, or make something yourself, gift your taste-buds and your tummy with a food you love.
  
  
• Take a Bath (or Soak your Feet). Luxuriate in some steamy water. Indulge in some candles or bath bombs or handcrafted soaps. For those (like myself) without access to a proper tub, consider a soothing soak for your feet instead.
  
  
• Buy a New Outfit. Or, for a more subtle approach, grab some new undergarments! Clothing is a powerful form of self-expression and can be a source of validation & gender euphoria. Point of Pride is an organization that offers free chest binders or femme shapewear to trans folks who need one but cannot afford nor safely obtain one.
  
  
• Pick some Flowers. Bring nature inside! Buy from a local florist if you want to splurge, but sometimes a simple little glass of picked wildflowers can be just as lovely in your living space.
  
  
• Try a new Perfume/Cologne/Deodorant. Scent is often an overlooked aspect of gender expression! Experiment with smells that bring you joy & comfort.
  
  
• Play your Favorite Game. Whether that's a cozy videogame like Stardew Valley, the simple pleasures of Solitaire, or a beloved board game like Wingspan, give yourself some time to engage in playfulness while also engaging your brain!

Activity & Movement 🕺

• Take a Walk in a Local Park. Research has shown time & again that connecting with nature, even in small walks through a civic green space, has a lot of physical and mental health benefits. Dracut has some lovely parks, but to discover the real magic of this slice of the Merrimack Valley, checkout the Dracut Open Space Committee for some fascinating hikes! The next group hike will be at the East Richardson Preserve on Tuesday, July 8th from 6-7pm and those interested can register via the Dracut public library.
  
  
• Exercise. This is one of those "easy to say, hard to do" recommendations, but the science repeatedly affirms that exercise is good for the whole human animal, not just our bodies! Exercise doesn't have to be going to the gym—it can look like following some routine tutorials online, doing daily calisthenics, joining others for some Gentle Flow Chair Yoga at the library, learning tai chi, or going for a jog with friends!
  
  
• Dance to your Favorite Music. It's exercise to a beat! (Depending on your favorite music, this recommendation can prove rather tricky...but still fun!)
  
  
• Play a Sport or Outdoor Activity. Shoot some hoops, smack around a shuttlecock, get into pickleball, or go for a swim on a hot summer day!
  
  
• Stretch. With so many of us working at jobs that ask us to either sit or stand for long periods of time, our joints and muscles appreciate when we remember to stretch them!
  
  
• Stay Hydrated. Drink water! Hydrate, don't diedrate.
  
  

Social Engagement 🫂

• Join Local Support Groups. Either in-person or virtual, finding cohorts to discuss life's trials & tribulations is important. Checkout this list of Greater Boston PFLAG Support Groups or peer support groups listed on NAMI Massachusetts' resource page.
  
  
• Find a Supportive Space to Practice Your Faith/Spirituality. If you're someone who values having a faith or spiritual practice, locating a space to share community with others that is safe and accepting is crucial. Consider a Unitarian Universalist congregation like First Parish Billerica, a diverse, welcoming non-creedal humanistic faith group. In Dracut itself, the historic Old Yellow Meeting House has an affirming Church Christ United following. For those of a more New Age or pagan persuasion, checkout the town's very own local metaphysical shop, Moonlight & Mindfulness, for various events like lunar meditation circles! Otherwise, seek out online communities where you can nourish your spiritual needs.
  
  
• Follow LGBTQIA+ Social Media Accounts. Representation matters, and when popular or mainstream media won't do it, seeking it out ourselves is vital. Look for accounts by activists, advocates, artists, entertainers, educators, etcetera. (Some starter recommendations include Jessica Kellgren-Fozard, Jammidodger, Chella Man, and Persephone Valentine.) Don't just follow individuals, either—seek out organizations like Rainbow Merrimack Valley, GLAAD, or the Human Rights Campaign. Also: remember to use the report & block functions of your chosen social media platform! It's essential to curate a healthy, supportive online space. The block button exists for a reason.
  
  
• Write to your Representatives. Change happens with persistent, collective action. Let your civil representatives know about your concerns and worries. You are their constituent and, as an elected official, they represent you alongside your neighbors. For Dracut residents as of this post's June 2025 publication, your state representatives are: Representative Colleen Gary (a Dracut local!), State Senator Edward J. Kennedy, Congresswoman Lori Trahan, U.S. Senator Ed Markey, and U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren.
  
  
• Visit your Local Library. Libraries are a cornerstone of our democracy & one of the last freely available "third spaces" in the U.S. It's not just books at the library; there are movies, CDs, free programs, guided crafts, museum passes, video games, etc. The Parker Memorial Library in Dracut even has a Library of Things where you can borrow instruments, crafting tools, hot spots, and more! A Dracut card will get you access to over 30 libraries across the Merrimack Valley Consortium, too~
  
  
• Volunteer with Local Organizations. These don't have to be LGBTQIA+ specific. Engaging with your community in any meaningful capacity can provide benefits for mental and social well being. The Dracut Food Pantry is an excellent local organization helping to support Dracuteers dealing with food insecurity. Greater Lowell Pride is always looking for volunteers each June. The Dracut Scholarship Foundation puts on a wonderful community telethon each spring that benefits graduating DHS seniors. And if you're into local journalism and media, Dracut Access Television is always happy to onboard new volunteers!
  
  
• Donate to Nonprofits, Charities, or Advocacy Groups. If you're financially able to donate, even a little bit, it can be a huge help. A couple nonprofits to consider that serve the Commonwealth include the Trans Emergency Fund of Massachusetts & the QT Library. Keep an eye out for fun telethon-esque fundraisers that popup online as well. The artist-comedy group Drawfee had a very fun "Va-Pride-ity Hour" this past Pride month that was a delight to watch—AND it raised over $170,000 for Trans Lifeline!
  
  

In a world of abundant anger and cruelty, kindness is radical. When caring for ourselves is so often the last thing on both society's list and our personal list, it becomes even more revolutionary. Making time to care for ourselves is hard. It's also necessary for our health and wellbeing.

You deserve self-love. You deserve happiness. You deserve comfort. You deserve the softness & joy that life can offer.

Be radical: be kind to yourself. 🫶

Want to join the conversation? Sign up for our monthly newsletter & gain access to commenting on future posts!

Sign Up for Free